Science to the art of falling in love.

Poets and philosophers have a lot to say about love, but there is an actual science behind it. Have u ever thought – what’s the magic in love that everyone craves for it. In an 75 year old study, it has been proven that the biggest predictor of our happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically LOVE.

Have you ever wonder why we fall for certain types of people? Or why we may only feel when the perfect person for whom we dream comes in front of us and the spark between is different. There would be number of people in our life for whom we feel. As we grow older and met new people, the number increases (until we get the ultimate person with whom we marry, who has all we want). To get answers of this questions, when we have a glance on all those people for whom we feel special, there is a pattern we seem in each of them. The pattern we find in all. The common theme those person would have which would connect you and your thoughts. And you will look for this connection in all person you get attracted with. Basically, we search for a person with similar looks, intelligence, socio-economic background, religious values and reproductive goals, with whom we can spend our rest of life happily. Not only in case of partners, but also when we make friends. If the characteristics don’t fit on place, the relation with that person is not so strong.

So, why we fall for specific characters, when we have lots of choices and we don’t feel for them all. The answer lies in our subconscious mind. Our brain plays an important role in generating those special factors. In this, life experiences, observations, thinking, our values, ethics, the atmosphere in which we are grown up and the religion we follow has a great influence in imaginating the life partner we want. Therefore, when you met a person and you get struck by cupid’s arrow that may very well take your breath away and if they fulfill your subconscious checklist rapid activity in the brain which enables you to feel certain way towards them.

Furthermore, there are neurotransmitters and hormones involved in love. They are serotonin, dopamine, estrogen and testosterone which are responsible for romantic attraction, sex drive and a long term attachment. A anthropologist named Hellen Fisher had broadly studied this hormones and also had connected with the factors a person choose while falling in love. Firstly, those person who express more of the traits linked with dopamine system in brain are called explorers. They are more adventurous, curious, open minded, creative, optimistic and energetic. They attracts a person with similar traits. So, they search for a person just like them. Secondly, those who are highly expressive of the serotonin system in brain are called builders. They are social, respectful, calm, religious and loyal. They dislike people who are not loyal enough. Just like explorers, these people fall in love with similar traits persons. Thirdly, those who express traits linked with estrogen system in brain are called negotiator. They are intuitive, empathetic, imaginative, long term thinkers and good at leading. They attracts partners who are opposite to them. Lastly, those who are high at testosterone system in brain are called directors. They are analytical, logical, rank oriented, assertive and independent. Just like negotiator, they attract opposite partners.

We all are a combination of these four constellations, but we express some hormones differently. The love personality test by Helen Fisher makes sure about which hormone we express more and makes us understand which type we are that helps us to choose appropriate partners. And a book of Helen Fisher “Why Him? Why Her?” has the fullest description of these personality styles and how to make them use at love and work.

To conclude I would say that Law of attraction is just like law of gravity. You won’t see it but you can feel it.